Be Glad it Wasn't Herpes Hand Towel

When life gives you lemons... be damn glad it wasn’t herpes.

Sharp, sassy, and totally unexpected — this towel isn’t here for your grandma’s advice. It’s here to drop some citrus truth with a wink and a smirk. Whether you’re drying dishes, wiping counters, or just hanging it up to let everyone know you’ve got jokes and taste, this towel delivers.

Pick your sass delivery system: bright white waffle weave, plush terrycloth, or crisp flour sack cotton — all ready to bring snark and style to any room.

Choose your vibe:
• Flour sack towel — 28" x 29": Light, absorbent, and ready for a reality check
• Waffle/dobby weave towel — 15" x 26": Textured, bold, and serving dry humor (literally)
• Terrycloth towel — 16" x 30": Soft, plush, and perfect for soaking up all that salty shade

A few things to know:
• Other towel colors may be available upon request
• Sizes are approximate and might vary (towels have bad days too)
• Wash before use to bring out full attitude
• Polyester thread = light bleach-safe sass that lasts
• Every towel is made to order — no two zingers are exactly the same
• Extra customization? Totally doable (might cost ya a bit more)

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